Two of our number, and possibly the 2 ante-post favourites for the Scillonian 111 ‘Chunda Sweepstake,’ The Frock and Roy the Golf,’ decided that sailing was completely out of the question and would take pot luck on a later flight. Concerning the Sweepstake, we had our very first false start ever when Will Jackson fell ill between getting off the coach and boarding the Scillonian. Normality restored, Paul Simmonds won by a short retch from Tredders.

Just as the Isles came into view, and the sun started to shine; the sound of an aircraft was heard overhead. You could almost hear the smile from our 2 least intrepid Mals.

We were enthusiastically welcomed at Tregarthens Hotel, and a coffee plus bacon roll which made us all feel like we had never left.

Sport and comradeship are why we are all here. Unfortunately, politics also became an issue, and as a result, some of the sports against the school were cancelled.

Tennis up at the Garrison commenced at 3 pm, and the Mals took a 2-1 lead in the first leg, ably captained by Shaun Galloway.

Basketball and vets football, fortunately, in some regards, took place, and the Mals acquitted themselves very well with a creditable 12-12 draw against the Hugh Town Globetrotters. Vets football, always a difficult one to win, proved so again with a 10-1 defeat.

2024 President Alastair Hick flushed in our new President, Rob Epton. Four returning ‘New Boys’, Matt Dunn, Elliot Hick, Mike Loggin and Kevin Ridge were flushed into the Mal de Mer ranks, and sponsors introduced their ‘New Boys’. Hotel staff were introduced, followed by much hilarity and the odd sherbet! Has it really been a year?

DAY 2
Thursday 26th

A freezing and windy morning greeted nearly all the Mals at breakfast, apart from Alex Polhill and Paul Calfe. Had they had enough of our new President already?

Today’s golf competitions are the Perry Pot for golfers and the Morgan Mug for goofers. David Martin won the former, with David Nottingham winning the latter. An enquiry is needed for Notty, who is now identifying as a goofer!

Good to see Phil and Julie at the Golf Club again. Now for some beach sports. Youth team captain Sean Calfe and his Beach Football squad put up a gallant fight but lost 10-4. Beach Volleyball resulted in a walkover for the Mals. Is that why Paul Calfe had a lie-in this morning? Due to uninvited gelatinous sea creatures appearing, the swimming club relocated its venue to Porthcressa Beach, where everyone had a great time. Hockey, our first ‘Blue Riband’ event, in all senses of the word, resulted in a 2-6 win for the tourists. Hardly surprising with 2 goalhangers, Jamie Pooley and Keith Williams in the team!

Stamina training was now paying dividends, and the well-rested Alex Polhill had selected a powerful darts team. Unbeknownst to us, Jock had picked a stronger one, and the Mals lost 8-3. I’m afraid to report that the pool ended similarly, with a loss of 8-4. Thank you, Scillonian Club, for a fantastic evening, as usual.

DAY 3
Friday 27th

The weather, although slightly warmer, was still on the marginally choppier side. Today’s in-house golf competition was the 9-hole American foursomes, ably won by Andy Smith and Stewart Ward.

Now for the next Blue Riband event. The Isles of Scilly vs The Mals, an 18-hole wrestle to the death, Captained by our own ‘Big Easy’, Fuzzy Smithy. He was going for a back-to-back win, a collector’s item in the annals of Mals sport. He decided to load the ‘back-end, which upset some of the Islanders and resulted in a 5.5 to 3.5 victory.

Regrettably, the weather did its ‘worserest’ and the bowls and gig racing were cancelled.

Three sports followed supper. Badminton, rifle shooting and archery. In badminton, an improvement over last year saw the Mals lose 7-9. Better news in the rifle shooting and archery. Two victories for the Mals, 700-670 in the shooting and 142-67 in the archery. Late-night points count double!

DAY 4
Saturday 28th

For the very first time on this year’s expedition, the sun greeted us at breakfast. Golf competitions this morning were the BISHOP’S BEAKER for golfers and the NOSWORTHY NOGGIN for goofers. Elliot Hick won the golfers’ competition with a gross score of 36, the Goofers Competition by Jim Ward. The rest of Super Saturday read like a SkyTV presentation: cricket, followed by football and Mastermind.

The cricket squad sounded ‘mighty powerful‘ at breakfast and, under the tactical eye of Captain Tredders, set a respectable total of 151, with Elliot Hick and Michael Loggin scoring the majority of the runs. The Isles of Scilly chased down the total with a few overs to spare—a well-contested match, much closer than previous years.

Time to gird our loins for the football. With the memory of last year’s narrow defeat still fresh in some of our minds, the Mals fought bravely. Home advantage eventually told, and the Woolpack Wanderers ran out 5-2 winners.

Back to Tregarthen’s for some brain food and drinking practice. Whilst the pudding course was being served, a very troubled Elliot Hick got to his feet and unburdened his soul about a family member, and 2023’s President, Alastair Hick. Choking back the tears, he revealed how his father and David Martin (President 2009) had succumbed to match-fixing! Rather than play the last hole in their match, which currently stood at a half, they decided to walk in, denying themselves a probable victory.

Understandably, the President was livid, wondering how many years this practice had been going on. Huge fines were administered! Poor Elliot, how do you deal with the shame of it all, and to be labelled a rat into the bargain! Social services were contacted immediately.

The quiz team came a close second, putting up a valiant fight; they were just unlucky on their joker round. The boat race in The Mermaid ended similarly with the usual false start controversies. Nearly there, let’s have a nightcap.

Day 5
Sunday 29th

As we all feared, the weather forecast proved correct, and the likelihood of travelling off-island looked bleak. The overall sports results stood at IOS 9-8 Mals, with only the snooker guaranteed to be played. The red wine was as good as the snooker, and a 2-3 victory to the Mals ensured a 9-9 draw overall.

The hierarchy adhering to all their safeguarding and inclusion initiatives arranged for an indoor sports meet down at the Scillonian Club.

The guest’s night dinner was the usual lively affair, and we also learnt about the recipient of the Mal de Mer Merit Award, Daisy Stephens. Mike Brown responded to the President’s toast to the Islanders, remembering the good old days when he used to win at sports. Elliot Hick won the Endeavour Trophy, and Richard Tredwell won the Ben Gurion Ethos award. Time for a show. Loosely based on ‘Eppo‘ the Musical, and I’m a Celebrity, Get Me Outta Here!’

A big thank you again for another wonderful Trip. The flights on Monday were all on time, and everyone had a safe trip home. 9-9 Keep the darts practice up.